Ooh-de-lally

Here are my problems with the new Robin Hood Trailer:

1) Russell Crowe. Wrong, wrong, wrong for the part. So very, very wrong.

2) No, seriously. Who made this disastrous decision? He's bulky and scowly. He should be wiry (as an archer; he ain't shooting armour-piercing rounds here) and he should have at least an occasional twinkle in his eye. Merry Men. MERRY.

3) No, REALLY. They cast RUSSELL CROWE against Matthew MacFayden and Bald!Mark Strong. NO ONE is going to be rooting for Robin.

3) Lions and lambs? Do you need the Twilight money that much?

4) You cannot say "Never give up" without finishing "never surrender!"

5) Ummm... pre-Magna Carta here, guys

6) I know Robin is occasionally presented as a peasant, but really, it's much more common to have him as an aristocrat - not a common archer.

7) Did Mark Strong give all his hair to Matthew MacFayden?

8) I get enough daddy issues on LOST, thankyouverymuch

9) Are we storming Normandy? What's going on here?

10) DID YOU REALLY JUST CALL THIS AN UNTOLD STORY?

11) Seriously, this shit is making even Cate Blanchett less awesome than usual

12) Errol Flynn, Douglas Fairbanks, Russell Crowe, Jonas Armstrong, Robin Dunne, Matthew Porretta (fun fact - Will Scarlett in Men in Tights), John Derek, Michael Praed, Richard Greene, Richard Todd, Sean Connery even, Patrick Bergen, Martin Potter, Patrick Troughton (fun fact - Sam's grandfather and a future Doctor Who), Cary Elwes, hell - throw in Kevin Costner and Vincent Cassel, and one of these things is NOT LIKE THE OTHERS BECAUSE IT IS BULKY AND SULKY AND DO NOT WANT.

(Wait, what? Robin Hood is in Ivanhoe? I need to see that...)