Sunday, February 26, 2012

The show itself

Not going to be a running commentary, because I'm mostly going to sit back and enjoy. But I may kibbutz and post in the commercials.

Why is the score playing over Morgan Freeman? DID JOHN WILLIAMS HIJACK THE CEREMONY?!?

Okay I love what Billy Crystal is going for, but the mixing is off and I can't hear half his lines.

I love the set design.


: "First black-face, then Jonah Hill fat jokes? Really fucking funny, you obselete dinosaur, Crystal. " Seems a bit harsh, but... both not good.

Wow. Hugo for Cinematography. That does not bode well. TERRIBLE CHOICE OSCARS.

Production Design to Hugo as expected. I still think recreating Melies' props is not as much as an achievement as designing your own, but... I do like silvery sparkling dress of the other winner.

AAah! Random balcony band! O! Hai Pharrell!

: Wait a minute... a goatee? This is EVIL HANKS.

: I predict a HUGO sweep of the tech awar...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

: Well, it's been relatively painful so far.

6:02  Update:
: God almighty, what is all this.

Billy Crystal starts off the segment with "the movie palaces of our youth". Good way to appeal to the youngins. The reactions in the background are all flabbergasted. 

I'm betting Brad Pitt was thrilled with his cheesecake shot they included. 

Okay - I love montages of all kinds, but this one seems to be heavy on any Spielberg/Scorsese/some sort of connection to this years nominees (baseball).

I like how JLo is discussing "loose enough to be a lady" with her nipple about to peek.

And what do you know about costumes Chloe Moretz? You are like 13.

The Artist takes it (hey! I'm 2/3!)

I like the title cards to introduce the category. 

JLo and Cameron seem to have found Grazer's tequila. 

And Iron Lady! (3/4!)

Why does Brad Pitt have a gold chain?

God, I love Helen Mirren.

Could you not have cut Adam Sandler after his razzie noms?

6:13 Update:
: Uh, Brad. It's THE WAR OF the Gargantuas.

: Are these guys explaining watching a movie?

Via Cleolinda: @SmartBitches: "I think that was Sheila E playing the drums. I think it is 1985. I need a drink. You can put an umbrella in it if you want. 

: I can't wait to see which ebon shade Billy's hair takes after the break.

DID THEY REALLY JUST PUT UP A MAP FOR THE AMERICANS?!? (that said, I continue to like the set designs). 

Sandra Bullock's german was amusing. And A Separation gets it! (4/5!)

: lmao remember when you were all like "billy crystal is going to be so SAFE" and then he did BLACKFACE

I like this theory on tumblr: Billy Crystal's way of getting out of ever hosting again. 

God, Christian Bale is beautiful. 

: Just don"t nuke us. We'll give you all the oscars you want.

: I wish Max Von Sydow had YES and NO on his hands and used them to express his feelings in his close-ups.

More from Cleolinda; "Brad Pitt talking about The Good Gargantua and the Bad Gargantua and the Good Gargantua having to beat the Bad Gargantua. I wanna watch movies with him....An announcer lady informs us that no baseball film has been nominated for Best Picture since Field of Dreams, and no baseball film has ever won! Baseball film has no Oscars! BASEBALL FILM NEEDS NO OSCARS. THERE IS NO WINNING IN BASEBALL FILM!"

6:25 Update:

Awww. Octavia Spencer is adorable. (5/6!)

: Has the balcony always been haunted with The Ghost of World Music?

: Black woman just thanked the state of Alabama.

Hmmm. I have not heard of this Ashley Judd show. But I like her in kick ass mode. And I miss Sarah Connor. 

Is Billy Crystal wearing two mics? And why is he discussing LA insider stuff? That said, YAY Christopher Guest ensemble!! Not their best work... still...

Bradley Cooper's jacket seems not to fit...

And onto editing! I will reiterate: How can Dragon Tattoo be up for editing and not picture?!


(except the blackface.)

6:30 Update:
Sound editing: Hugo. Ah well. They're putting the sound together again. I wonder why they do that so much these days? Drive shoulda been a contender.

(As I said before, I'm  always thrilled when I get a prediction wrong for what I think should have won.)

Ugh. Sound editor puns.

Sound mixing: Hugo. I think that makes it 6/9.

Watching the Moneyball clips is making me anxious for baseball to start up again.

: I was hoping Christopher Guest would jump the shark tonight.

: Bradley Cooper wearing a mustache is like the first time you heard a frat dude singing a Pixies song.

: People must love being referred to as "you know who you are"

6:40 Update:


Guys doing interpretive North By Northwest, Acrobats stripping, hand balancing. Yes to ALL OF THIS!

However, all of this is highlighting that we need a best stunt category at the oscars.


6:47 Update:
Does RDJ have glitter in his hair?

Wow Undefeated! I had heard buzz going that way. And, truth be told, I think Peter Jackson's documentary on the West Memphis 3 will be more interesting. Although I'm sure they did a lot of great work helping free them.

Oh, Weinstein released Undefeated. Shoulda known.

Don't cut them off before they thank their subjects!!

: I kinda don't hate this Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth bit. Just 'cause I could watch him do anything.

RANGO!!! WHOOO!!!! (7/11. Not going to be my best night in predictions...)

7:02 Update:
Emma Stone is making up for her terrible dress with this banter.

Don't mention the werewolf when discussing HP's visual effects. 

Did you just call your Transformer's film artistic?

WHAT?!?! Rise of Planet of the Apes was ROBBED. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Jonah Hill gets whistles from the audience.

Yay! Tom Hardy clip! ILU!

Supporting actor: Christopher Plummer! Yay! Wow - oldest actor to win! Who knew. He is unfailingly charming. (8/13)

7:17 Update:
Oh I'm so sad about this, because it is tarnishing my memories of Billy Crystal hosting.

: Christopher Plummer wins Best Supporting Actor: in 10 seconds before he takes stage, we wish our hardest he will sing Edelweiss 

: Plummer is a CLASS AND CHARM MACHINE. is never getting his velvet tux back now.

: "Are you ready to go back to Titanic?" You know when you see that commercial you scream "No."

: Crystal was too mean to Nolte there. Not mean enough to the French dog.

: Wish Drive was nominated for Best Score even more now. So I could see musical notes burst out of a stomped-out skull.

The Artist gets score as expected (9/14). The snippet reminded me how much I loved Tinker Tailor. I may need to go see it again. 

No! No little speech! (The oscars should have planned on longer speeches this year for all the Frenchies.)

: Do you want to thank the Allied Forces?


7:30 Update:
Hee. Cymbals.

MAN OR MUPPET! BRET McKENZIE! I LOVE YOU!!!! (I saw him in Wellington!) (Also, why are they making him stoop?) (Wow - two kids? Didn't you just get married?)

What? What the hell was with the popcorn girls?!?

Angelina wins for entrance of the night. Yes, INCLUDING THE CYMBALS.

I'm going to be so happy if the Dean wins it.

God, Ides of March was fab. As was Moneyball. As was Tinker Tailor.

Angie needs a sandwich. (or to kick that rumored addiction...)

Jim Rash FTW. Especially after Alexander Payne's incredibly nasty comments.  (11/16)

Woody Allen, as expected (12/17).

7:49 Update:
WERNER!!!! ILU!!!!!

They need to stop ending those montages on Adam Sandler. It's embarrassing. 

Yay! The adorable short film nominees!

: Dean Dean Dean Dean.

: I know George Clooney is famous for his practical jokes but he went a little far with "The Descendants".

: "Woody Allen couldn't be here tonight because he didn't want to be here tonight."

: Woody Allen's lit-nerd fantasy baseball movie wins!

Why is the sound so awful? It's all tinny. 

Shorts! The Shore! WHOO I CALLED IT! (13/18) Yeah Irish! Awww. Orla is adorable.

 The Scorsese drinking game returns!!!! Whooo!!!!

Oh hey - did the Elvis nun walk the carpet?

Wow - Saving Face! I'm glad. (13/19)

Hey! Spoilers on A Morning Stroll!

Meh. Fantastic Flying Books. The BAFTAs have better taste. (14/20)

That said; "this is incredibly grand" might be my favorite speech line of the night. That and let's get out of here in Editing. 

From Cleolinda: "YOU ARE THE MOST TALENTED MAN IN THE ROOM (depending on the room)" How did I miss that?

: And suddenly, a hat emerges as competitor to Angelina Jolie's leg.

7:59 Update:
I don't think under-exaggerated is what you were looking for.

Hey! Michael Sheen! I love you! That said, there was the chance to include Corey Stoll...

I have an Oscar. Do you have an Oscar? I have an Oscar.

Cleolinda; "here's Angelina Jolie in LEG. It's hilarious, it's this great black dress with, apparently, a huge opening in the side, and then she's like *hip cock* LEG, and the entire audience catcalls. And that's why she's a movie star."

: We are seeing a lot of eating disorders on the Oscars....VERY skinny arms,very skinny legs, scary thin..........depressing.

Too true.

Uh oh. The deathly march of death is coming. I put money on Elizabeth Taylor being last.

8:07 Update:
Special nods to the past oscar producers who just died; Laura Ziskin and Gil Cates. I BET GIL CATES WOULD HAVE STOPPED YOU FROM DOING BLACKFACE.

Who is afro singer?

Oooh - pretty way of doing the memoriams. Lovely photos. Awww.... Bingham Ray. Peter Falk! He gets the first clip!

Awww. That was all very well done. And I totally called it.

8:21 Update:

Also - seems wrong to make fun of focus groups when Joseph Farrell is in the In Memoriam.

: Esperanza Spalding - she beat Bieber for Best New Artist at the Grammys last year.

Yay. More Edward Norton plz.

Yes! Black Swan intro music!

Yes! They've left enough time for acting clips!!! This is the mark of a well produced Oscars.

Awww... Jean Dujardin is shaking. And Berenice is translating for him.

Also - there have been some great photobombs in the audience tonight.

Hi Benedict Cumberbatch!

God I loved that scene in Moneyball.

Jean Dujardin! I forget where I am - 16/22?

Oh - just give the speech in French. Let the booth provide subtitles. Love all the bows.

Did A. R. Rahman paint on his suit? And I like how they just didn't turn his mic on.

8:31 Update:
: You know Brad is thinking, "I talked to Intern Ross for 15 minutes for NOTHING" right now. - J

Awww - Viola looks so happy!

WHOA. Meryl Streep. I'm shocked. She saves ruining everybody's Oscar pools by being utterly charming.


Awwww. There isn't a dry eye in the house.

Tom Cruise: please keep going to the movies. Our box office was so down this year.

What?!? Tom Hiddleston voice and no picture?!?

Cumberbatches in another film!

Hello Harvey!

And the silent movie wins it! For the first time since 1928! Whoo! Movies!

(Ooh - Missi Pyle does not look good. That's sad. I like her.)

: "...but whatever." -- a genuinely funny, brilliant moment from Meryl.

Ending on Billy Wilder. Billy Wilder. Billy Wilder. Seems appropriate.

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